How to help a guy with performance anxiety

Hey there team,
I am dating a guy who has anxiety and a lot of performance stress. Been trying to calm things down to be able to enjoy sex, but is still a problem sometimes. When it works is great, but sometimes he is just too stressed about it. Could you write a post about how to help a guy with performance anxiety and what can I do for him?

Name: Karin
Age: 23
Based in: US

What is performance anxiety?

Sexual performance anxiety refers to people’s concerns about being able to perform adequately during sexual intercourse.

In the context of sexuality, anxiety manifests itself through fears about sexual performance, embarrassment, or embarrassment for wanting to have sex in the first place.

Performance anxiety is associated with the excessive need to meet and satisfy the partner’s desires during sexual intercourse. In other words, individuals’ main concern is to ensure the pleasure and satisfaction of their partner rather than their own pleasure and satisfaction.

Factors that may contribute to performance anxiety

First of all, it is important to examine performance anxiety in psychological, social and biological areas.

Psychological factors

Generally, psychological factors underlie sexual performance anxiety. Psychological factors play an important role in the emergence of performance anxiety, those factors can be such as

• individuals’ past sexual experiences
• sexuality education they received in childhood
• personality traits
• self-confidence levels

For example, negative sexual experiences in the past may cause anxiety in a person’s future sexual relationships. Additionally, social expectations and taboos about sexuality can also cause people to experience performance anxiety.

Social factors

Social factors are also an important factor affecting sexual performance anxiety. Social factors such as society’s values regarding sexuality, the presentation of the media and popular culture, and false beliefs and stereotypes about sexuality may cause individuals to experience anxiety about their sexual performance. For instance, individuals who cannot comply with the sexual intercourse norms idealized in the media may be concerned about their performance.

Biological factors

Biological factors may also be effective in the development of sexual performance anxiety. Biological factors are factors such as:

• hormonal imbalances
• sexual dysfunctions
• physiological diseases
• side effects of medications

Those factors can cause individuals to become concerned about their sexual performance. Thus, men who experience premature ejaculation or erection problems may experience performance anxiety due to fear of failure in sexual intercourse.

How to help a guy performance anxiety

If you are with someone in your relationship who is experiencing this situation, it is important to support and help them through this.

Reduce stress

Performance anxiety can have many underlying causes, but stress is often a big factor. You can suggest that your partner try stress management techniques. Simple but effective techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can help reduce stress.

Open communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. Talk about this openly with your partner. Give him the opportunity to express what he feels in a calm environment, without any judgment. When communicating, approach with empathy and understanding.

Make time for foreplay

Foreplay is an important part of sexual intercourse and can help reduce performance anxiety:

• Kiss each other
• Caress each other
• Hug each other
• Massage each other

This will both strengthen your connection and increase your body’s level of sexual arousal.

You can also make your experiences richer by using various sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, penis rings or anal toys like prostate massagers. These toys can enhance the sexual experience of both you and your partner and excite your relationship. Remember, the important thing is to discover new experiences with your partner and strengthen your communication with each other.

Thaoist sex theory: a possible approach to overcome perfomance anxiety

You can also benefit from Taoist sex theory. Taoist sex theory, based on the philosophy of Taoism, emphasizes the importance of experiencing sexuality in a state of harmony and balance. This approach suggests that sexual intercourse is not just a physical act but also involves spiritual and energy levels.

Rather than focusing on physical pleasure, Taoist sex focuses on creating a deep connection between partners and achieving emotional harmony together. According to this philosophy, it is important to keep the flow of physical and mental energies in balance during sexual intercourse. To achieve this balance, practices such as breathing together, meditating, and consciously experiencing bodily contact are recommended.

Additionally, enjoying the moment instead of rushing, trusting your instincts, and letting go with the natural flow are among the important elements of Taoist sex practice.

I hope these suggestions were helpful! I truly believe that by trying these, you will overcome this process with your partner.