How to Take Charge in Bed as a Man

During the research phase for my ultimate guide to become an amazing lover, I interviewed a lot of different women. One of the questions I asked was, “what about a man’s conduct in regards to sex do you appreciate and makes you turned on?”.

In different ways, a majority of the women gave the same answer. That the man knew how to take charge in bed was the most important thing.

All though some people may find this surprising, it just confirmed what I already had learned a long time ago. Women love when the man knows how to take charge in bed.

Why a Lot of Men Find It Difficult to Take Charge in Bed

With the focus on gender equality in today’s society, it can be very difficult for a man to act with dominance and take charge. The fact that a majority of women in a sexual context are submissive and get turned on by a dominant behavior can even be difficult for men to understand. Women want and should be treated with respect and equality, not as an objectified piece of meat.

This is true, but what is important to understand, and what many men who have grown up with the values in today’s society don’t understand, is that there is a big difference between everyday life and sexual reality in the bedroom. In the same way that men don’t understand or know about this, some women may also be unaware, until they try it.

In fact, a majority of all women want to be dominated in the bedroom, then treated with the same respect as usual once the erotic reality is over. Show that you understand this, and you will be hugely appreciated.

A Man That Takes Charge Will Help the Woman to Live Out Her Desires

That the man takes charge in its correct context is something that creates powerful sexual excitement. For people who are aware of this, the novel 50 shades of gray’s immeasurable popularity didn’t come as a surprise.

However, it is important to point out the difference again; women want to be respected in all situations. But in bed, they want to be able to let go and live out their inner desire with someone who knows how to take charge in bed as a man. A man that knows how to be dominating in bed.

As one woman put it in my interviews, “Dominance is a huge turn-on. I mean taking charge of my body, especially with non-verbal cues”.

Taking Charge and Acting Dominant is Not The Same as Acting Like a Jerk

When a lot of people hear the word dominance, they get a negative connotation. Dominating someone does not sound very nice. They often also think that it entails painful violence or psychological oppression. In this case, none of this is true. Instead, it is about freeing your woman and facilitating for her to live out her sexuality. That is, the opposite of oppression.

In case you are one of the men who, with the best intention, think you treat your woman respectfully and well when you don’t offer any kind of dominant psychological stimulation. You need to rethink this. Instead of helping your woman to free her inner desires, you force her to oppress and shut down her sexuality.

A Small Test to get Started

If after reading this text, you still are not sure about whether your partner gets turned on by being dominated, you can do a small test.

While you’re making out during foreplay, you carefully and without saying something, gently take one of your partner’s hands and hold it behind her head. Then you also take her other hand and place it behind her head. Continue kissing her and keep her hands in the same position with one of yours. Then you finish the kiss and use your other hand to touch and caress her body. See how she reacts and if she likes the experience.

Exactly How to Do it

Taking charge in bed as a man does not mean you need to do anything weird. It can simply be about leading her in a manly way. Something you do by touching her with determination and self-confidence.

You lead and initiate during sex without asking or hesitating. To ask or hesitate, generally indicates that you are uncertain and lack confidence. Instead of asking your partner to do something, you tell her to do it.

Control the Interaction Physically  

If you want to get a blowjob, move the woman’s head to your cock or the cock to her mouth. If you want to fuck doggy, put her on all four. Let her feel that she is together with a man that’s stronger than her. This certainly doesn’t mean you’re supposed to give her bruises, just that you should use your natural strength as a man. Women love this.

Use your body to move and control her body. Lift her up from the ground. Throw her on the bed or push her up against the wall. You don’t need to exaggerate, but just make sure that she feels your natural strength.

Move her towards you and spin her around with sexual self-confidence. Lift her chin with your finger when you’re about to kiss her and look into her eyes.

To dominate and take charge is about leading the interaction. You should have the mentality that it’s you who always are the leader. Although you need “two to tango”, you should always be able to lead your woman. And if the sex is not good, it’s mainly your fault.

However, even though you usually always lead the erotic play, you can sometimes let your partner take the initiative to create variation.

A Few Techniques That Will Make you Take Charge in Bed as a Man

Hair pulling

To grip the woman’s hair with your fist while you’re fucking her creates good dominance. It is important to keep your grip as close to the hair roots and skull as possible. This way, it feels more dominant and less painful for your woman.

Combine this with either sucking of her neck or directing her face so she looks into your eyes. This makes the sex more emotional. Pressing her head down into the bed can also create even more dominance. However, before you use this, you should first be sure that your woman really gets turned on by domination.

Spanking

Spanking can be done in two ways. The first way is to spank your partner while you’re fucking. This creates a good sound effect and is suitable in the doggy-style position.

The second way you can do it, is to place your partner over your knees and start spanking her. This fits good if the two of you, for example, start to play fight. It also goes well together with dirty talk.

Fucking with dominance

Getting fucked hard, deep, and fast is something that women get turned on by. So don’t be afraid to use force when you’re fucking, especially when the woman is very horny. The fact that women get turned on by this, however, has more to do with the dominance than the stimulation itself. When women stimulate themselves, they don’t do it hard and violently.

You can also experiment with being rough when changing positions, as well as pinning her hands towards the bed while you fuck her.

In addition to the above techniques, The Master Key will give you plenty of other techniques that you can use to take charge in bed as a man. And as you see the reactions of your woman, you will be inspired and come up with plenty of stuff yourself.

Don’t forget to be Responsive

Although taking charge and acting dominant in bed is a huge turn-on for a majority of all women, you have to make sure not to overdo it. If you take charge and act dominant all the time without paying attention to your woman, you will just seem like a selfish jerk.

Instead, you need to learn how to be responsive and pay attention to your woman. Learn how she likes it. If you do this at the same time as you take charge, you may very well be the best lover she’s ever been with. Definitely if you mix it with everything else from The Master Key.