How to Make a Woman Desire you

by Beste Guneysu

About the author

a woman showing desire for a man

Desire makes the world spin. Desire makes us change careers, get a divorce, and move to the other side of the country. Desire makes us want a woman, and if we are lucky and skillful, desire makes her want us right back.

To get better at this push-and-pull mechanic that’s part of the natural dance of being alive, you should study “how to make a woman desire you,”. This way, you increase the chance of getting the woman of your dreams.

In this blog post, you’ll learn everything you need to know. Let’s dive into the different pillars of desire.

1. Confidence is Desire King

When women list why they find a specific man attractive, confidence is consistently among the top 3.

Confidence means that you know what you want, that you are passionate, and that you are proud of yourself and your achievements.

How to Improve your Confidence

To become more confident, you should reflect on the ways you lack confidence and try to improve your life in those exact areas.

Another way to boost your confidence is to stick to your word. If you say you are going to the gym, you go to the gym. Trust and congruency between words and actions are what build confidence.

Another way to improve overall confidence is to become more confident in bed.

As well, various strategies can be used to increase self-confidence in men.

  • First, setting achievable goals and continually working towards those goals can develop a sense of achievement and competence. Regular physical exercise not only improves physical health, but also increases mood and self-esteem by releasing endorphins.
  • Taking care of yourself and dressing well can improve self-image and project a more secure image to others. Seeking new experiences and getting out of one’s comfort zone increases personal growth and resilience.
  • Additionally, practicing positive self-talk and challenging negative thoughts can help reframe perspectives and build self-confidence.
  • Finally, being surrounded by supportive and encouraging individuals can provide the necessary encouragement and validation to increase self-confidence.

2. Be a Well-Rounded Man

What makes any human intriguing is their unique combinations of traits. The more different traits you can acquire and cultivate, the more complex person you will become.

Someone with a lot of different sides to their character is attractive. It’s a biological need in women to find a man who is competent in lots of areas. This way, they ensure survival for themselves and their babies. For example, if you are both handy and intellectual, you are a catch.

How to Cultivate Different Traits

Think about what kind of person you are and how other people would describe you. Then think about character traits that are desirable but opposite to the ones you already have.

If you are geeky, try finding a way to become sportier and vice versa. A woman will desire you when she sees that you have many different sides to bring to the table. And yes, a man that knows how to cook, that’s something women appreciate.

3. Pay Attention to The Things That Make Her Unique

a man that pays attention

We all have a deep yearning to be seen for the unique person that we are, and to be seen for the qualities we appreciate about ourselves.

The more clearly you can see the woman for the qualities that make her unique, the more she will desire you.

How to Make Her Feel Seen

Don’t go into the next date or encounter as a blind man; instead, reflect on what makes her special and what exactly you like about her. What makes her stand out from all other women you have met?

Ask yourself what you think she appreciates about herself; what does she thinks make her unique? When you give her a compliment, tailor it to her needs.

Also, talk about subjects she is interested in.

4. Show Desire

As a general rule, we desire people who desire us. Desire inspires desire. We want to be liked.

So don’t hold back your feelings too much. Use your behavior to show her that you are interested in her and that you are sexually interested in her. This includes physical touch.

Many men that end up in the dreaded friend zone get there because they are not honest about their sexual desire. They were not brave enough to show themselves as humans with desire.

Also, another way to reach the peak of passionate sex lust is to respect each other, trust and surrender, disconnect from time, open the heart, as well as applying beautiful lovemaking techniques.

If we talk about desire, taoist sex in this process is one of the important techniques that facilitates desire. Taoist sex means being together, integrating in sexual energy. According to taoists, sexual energy is life energy. Instead of living with sexual energy, it is necessary to approach it in a friendly way and to become one body. Blending is an expression of unity that reflects the deeper pleasures of life. The only thing that matters to the fusing couple is to feel and let things happen by themselves.

Don’t Fear Rejection

Initially, she can be a bit scared, but if she is the right person for you, she will respond with desire when you show desire.

Showing desire is scary because we all fear rejection. But the more comfortable you can become with rejection, the more likely you will get a beautiful woman.

5. Spark Desire by Being Unpredictable

When it comes to how to make a woman desire you, this is a vital and often overlooked ingredient. The truth is that we all want adventure and mystery.

We all want to be with someone who intrigues us and keeps us guessing.

Unpredictable behavior is attractive, and that’s why people get addicted to gambling.

How to be Mysterious

Surprise yourself. Ask yourself what you would normally do and then do the opposite. You can also take your lady on an unusual date.

Yes, this point also includes not always being available and not always trying to get her. Being too available will make you predictable.

Instead, have a strong identity with lots of different passions to pursue. That’s how James Bond does it.

6. Be an Amazing Lover

She won’t know how good you are in bed until she tries. But trust me; it is a question she will be asking herself.

The truth is that many men are not particularly good in bed. Nothing strange with that, since most men never got an education on how to be an amazing lover.

Be the Exception

But you can be different. Being a good lover is a skill; like any other skill, it can be acquired and improved.

Learning to be amazing in bed is no different from learning tennis or a new language. The more you devote your time to studying and practicing becoming an amazing lover, the better you will become.

When you are on a date or interacting with women, you will know that you are great in bed, and that confidence will shine through everything else you do and make you much more attractive.

Here on this website, we have the ultimate guide to improving your skills in bed: The Master Key.

How to Make Your Girlfriend Desire You

desire in a relationship

When you are already in a relationship and want to make your girlfriend desire you, the approach is a little different. You should, of course, take into consideration everything above. It’s important stuff, even if the woman in question is your girlfriend.

But also follow the steps below for maximal results.

1. Reflect on your Behavior

When it comes to women and desire, women work in a particular way; they can lose the desire for a man for things that are not related to sex at all.

If her desire has changed, and that’s why you are asking the question, try to do the things you know are important to her. Be the man she wants you to be. As a result, her desire for you will increase.

Don’t Take it Too Far

While you reflect on your behavior and potentially change your behavior, you have to stay true to yourself at all times.

There is a difference between improving yourself and adjusting yourself to another person’s needs and wants. If you try to please her without taking yourself into consideration, her attraction to you will diminish.

With that little caveat, do ask your girlfriend how you can become a better boyfriend. Delivering on those requests will make her desire you more.

2. Have a Life Outside of the Relationship

Another big reason why desire dies in a relationship is that we become too focused on our partner. We give up hobbies and friends. This can happen to men also, and it’s not an attractive equality.

When you want your girlfriend to desire you, the answer can be that you just need to do something completely different. Start a new hobby, something with a bit of adrenaline and endorphins, such as kickboxing or salsa dancing.

What Passions are Attractive to You?

There are various activities that keep passion dynamic in male sexuality. Breaking routines, exploring new experiences, and trying different sexual activities (different sexual positions, kama sutra, etc.) can help keep passion alive. Long and touching foreplay can make the sexual experience more intense and satisfying.

Reading books about sex, researching articles, or talking about sex together can help to gain new knowledge and enrich the sexual experience. Exploring the world of fantasy, role-playing or trying different scenarios can make sex life exciting. Focusing on different sensory experiences in sexuality, such as aroma therapy or light massages, can increase passion.

The point to remember is to try these activities with the consent and desire of both parties. Open communication and a respectful approach between partners can help keep sexual passion alive.

3. Bound Over a Shared Activity

a shared activity that sparks desire

Another attraction killer in a relationship is when you don’t do enough fun things together. When we first date, we are on our best behavior, and we constantly connect over exciting activities.

You have to bring the same mind frame to your current situation.

Bring Back the Fun

She will feel a lot of attraction for you when she sees that you’re having fun and doing something active you enjoy doing. This neat trick will work even better if you are engaged in an exciting activity.

4. Be Present With Her

Sometimes, our work, or our constant involvement with the phone and social media, actually makes us less attractive.

Our partner doesn’t feel seen and heard, and thus, she is not in the mood for sex. Women, as a general rule, need to feel the man being present to become aroused.

Focus on Her and on Being Present

Forget about both the desire and sex for the moment being. Instead, appreciate her for who she is right at this moment.

See the things that are unique about her. Listen to what she has to say. Practice mindfulness. Don’t try to force desire to happen; instead, accept what is. You will be surprised by the result.

5. Surprise Her

Predictable behavior is not attractive, and foremost, it’s not exciting. If you always do the same routine, both outside and inside the bedroom, the attraction wears off.

Even if you love pizza, you don’t want to eat pizza seven days in a row. Well, at least your woman doesn’t want that. Even if she loves your routine, you still have to switch it up.

Explore New Territories

Ask her if there is something she would like to try, and deliver on her suggestions.

If she doesn’t have any ideas, it’s time for you to come up with new things. Maybe try out some light bondage.

6. Be an Amazing Lover

To be honest with you, if she doesn’t desire you as much as you want, maybe you are not delivering what she secretly fantasizes about.

Regardless of if you are in a relationship or not, being amazing in bed will make the woman desire you.

I can also tell you that when it comes to your bedroom skills, there is room for improvement. This goes for most men. Most men have simply not studied sex. Instead, they rely on what they always have done. But you can be the exception.

Delivering mind-blowing sex is a sure way of increasing her desire for you.


How to Become Amazing in Bed

Want to know the secret of becoming amazing in bed, to give your woman the best sex she’s had in her whole life?

I’m Joe Nathan, the creator of The Pleasure Keys. Way before I started the website, I learned that sex is a skill, and just like any other skill, it can be improved to perfection.

To learn how to give your woman amazing experiences and how to fuck her like she’s never been fucked before, I recommend my ultimate guide to become an amazing lover.

Best of luck
, Joe


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Written by:

Beste Güneysu Şeker is an expert psychologist. She has been working with children and adults as a specialist for 5 years, both with individual therapy and online therapy processes. She holds a Master's Degree in Clinic Psychology by the Near East University and a Bachelor's Degreee in Psychology by Eastern Mediterranean University (both institutions are in Cyprus). She is based in Angora, Turkey. You can also find her on LinkedIn and Instagram


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The Pleasure Keys is the number one website focused on men's sexual well-being. It is founded by Joe Nathan, the author of The Master Key.

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