How to Get My Wife in The Mood More Often

The question

I have a serious problem and there seems to be no way around it. My dream is to get my wife in the mood more often.

Sex is my favorite thing in the whole world. I like everything about it. Fingering. Licking. Thrusting. I love to be hard and to come and then to watch my wife masturbate while I become hard again. And I love to make my wife cum.

I thought my wife was on the same page because the first year we had sex all the time. And I really mean all the time. Sometimes three times a day.

Of course, I realized this couldn’t continue forever (even though I secretly hoped it would). Now it’s been 3 years and the amount of sex we have has been on a steady decline. As a result we are now down to once a week. Not enough for me.

I heard of this phenomenon where people’s desire for each other diminishes until it settles on a comfortable level. The problem is that I don’t feel that way at all.

I still want her as much as ever

To me my wife is as attractive as the first day I laid eyes on her. She is so sexy. I want her all the time. It’s hard for me not to think about sex. Even when I’m at work or at the gym, a part of me is always making love to her.

She is such a gorgeous person.

When I brought up the problem with her, she said that we have a normal sex life and that she is happy with the way things are.

• Should I just buy us more weekend trips? (She seems to let loose on those)
• Should I start to watch more porn (which I don’t like that much anyway).
• Should I take a pill to lower my testosterone?

I refuse to give up on my marriage. My wife is a goddess. Even my mum likes her! But it seems like there is no way out…!?

Thank you for your help. I’m looking forward to your solution on how I can get my wife in the mood more.

Brad
28 years old
CIS Man
Sacramento, CA

My answer to how Brad can get his wife in the mood more often

Hi Brad!

This is a common problem, although not an easy one to solve. Take a look at all the couples around you. A lot of them consist of two people who don’t have the same sex drive. It’s also actually not only men who want to get their partner in the mood more often.

Communication and emotional bonding

It is very important to talk openly and honestly with your partner. However, while having this conversation, it is necessary to respect his/her feelings and needs. Establishing emotional intimacy can help revitalize sexual desire. Take time regularly to strengthen your emotional bond and engage in activities that improve not only sex but your relationship in general. For example, you can take walks together, pursue hobbies, or plan romantic dinners.

Understanding sexual desires and expectations

It is important to understand your partner’s sexual needs and expectations. Sex therapy or counseling can provide guidance on this issue. You may consider seeing a therapist together to learn more about your partner’s sexual desires and expectations. You can also reconsider your sexual desires and pleasures and discuss how you can find a middle ground on this issue.

Increasing sexual diversity

Breathing new life into your sexual life can keep your relationship fresh and exciting. This isn’t just limited to trying new sexual positions. Different sexual positions allow you to have a variety of experiences, both physical and emotional, and can increase your sexual pleasure. For example, the “spooning” position can provide comfort and intimacy, while the “elevated doggy” position can offer deep penetration and a different angle experience. Additionally, positions such as “sitting position” (sitting on lap) and “pussy and milkmaid” (extreme lateral position) can add new excitement and pleasure. You can also add innovations to your relationship by exploring new fantasies, playing sexual role plays or using special erotic products. By talking about such issues with your spouse, you can develop a common understanding on innovations that your spouse will be comfortable with and enjoy. Thus, you can make your sexual life more exciting and satisfying.

To get inspiration on specific things you can try to get her in the mood, check out everything on this website, but especially Joe Nathan’s post: how to spice up your sex in a long-term relationship.

Psychological and physical health

Lack of sexual desire can sometimes result from psychological or physical health problems. It may be useful to review your partner’s physical and psychological health status to understand whether such problems exist. Additionally, conditions such as stress, anxiety or depression can affect sexual desire, so professional help can be sought if necessary.

Therapeutic intervention

If these strategies do not produce sufficient results, you may consider working with a sexual therapist or couples therapist. These experts can help you find the balance between sexual reluctance and desire and help you better understand the dynamics in your relationship.

Compassion and support

Constantly show your affection and supportive approach to your partner. Changes in your sexual life can affect other aspects of your relationship, so maintaining an understanding and supportive attitude can strengthen your relationship.

Remember that every couple’s dynamic is different and it is important to experiment to find the best solution and see what works. Being patient and communicating openly can play an important role in solving your problem.

Best of luck!

In the end, I must acknowledge that if all the advice feels like merely putting a bandage on a deeper issue, it might be time to consider the possibility of moving on. We can’t fundamentally alter another person’s sex drive.

Only you can determine which sacrifices are worth making to save your marriage.

Whatever path you choose, I wish you the best of luck and please let me know how things turn out.

How to become amazing in bed

Want to know the secret of becoming amazing in bed, to give your woman the best sex she’s had in her whole life?

I’m Joe Nathan, the creator of The Pleasure Keys. Way before I started the website, I learned that sex is a skill, and just like any other skill, it can be improved to perfection.

To learn how to give your woman amazing experiences and how to fuck her like she’s never been fucked before, I recommend my ultimate guide to become an amazing lover.

Best of luck
, Joe